Below is a copy of my testimony that i gave when i returned to the Univeristy of Michigan for the first time since leaving college. it was given during CCF in Auditorium C (i think) in Angel hall... it was given after the evening of preaching and praise... and i was the last to go on. this was my testimony of how Jesus came to me when i needed help.. and how i died and began a new life....


Derek’s Testimony for Chinese Christian Fellowship – Oct. 12th 2001

Man, it’s weird to be back in here… I mean, I used to sit in those seats and fall asleep right in the middle of the room. Woah, I used to do a lot of things. Maybe like some of you I used to drink, most of time to get drunk. OK, well I also used to smoke 1 or 2 packs a day, depending on how much crap was going on. I used to also take ecstasy. But, when everyone took 1 a night, I used to take 2, when everyone took 2 I would take 3, then when everyone stayed taking 2, I would take 4. And on my birthday I took 5 just for good measure. One time, I took 2 pills, didn’t think that it was enough, so I mashed up half a pill and snorted it so it would hit me harder. Not feeling enough still, I followed all that up with 2 joints of weeds, 5 cans of beer and since I had a spare left over half, I smashed that up and snorted that up too. 8am the following morning my friend had to pick me up from the floor since I wasn’t moving by myself. I used to also owe 16000 to the university and family cuz I took my money for tuition and rent, and spent it using and selling drugs. I used to also look at the top of dennison building and just picture myself jumping of the top and just ending it all, every day. Hmph, I also did stuff like dance in FunKtion, 2xs, I was a member of Lambda Phi Epsilon, I was active in Asian American community, yet none of these things offered any real happiness. I used to walk around and laugh the loudest and smile the biggest, yet on the inside I was screaming for help. As the days went on, my silent screams were getting louder and louder as I continued a life of sin.

Until one day, a close friend of mine, someone that I’ve none for over 3 years yet not once did we talk about her faith… one day she emailed me and said I would like you to go to church. She email me because her pastor told his congregation to go out and ask one person, just one person to go to church, so she choose me. But, I was like, “Yeah right, go away.” That following Saturday was a party at my house, so basically at 5am I was drunk, but I crashed. 730am I woke up without an alarm.. and still drunk. Since I couldn’t go back to sleep I took a shower and walked 10 minutes in the snow to church for the first time on Nov. 13th, 11 months ago.

Even though I felt so outta place and I felt everyone was watching me, later that night I was face down on the floor in my room at the Lambda house face down, snot flowing over my face, tears coming down, “God, if you’re real then please help me, please take me from this place. If you’re real help me…” I know now that it says in ROMANS 10:13 “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” But did I know that then? No.

So then what? No voice from the sky, no beam piercing the clouds came down from the heavens, no babies with wings flying around me, no parting of any sea, and no dude with a beard… I just got up, blew my nose, wiped my eyes and went to sleep thinking, “Well.. that was nice.”

But God Heard.

Over the next month I realized first hand that God’s mercy and Love is real. ROMANS 6:23 says “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life.” I knew the first part very well… but the second? I knew soon enough that God answered my prayers and began the healing process. I have never prayed to God wit all my heart before that night, and I knew that out of mercy he heard me, and out of love he healed me. At that point I asked that God kill the old Derek completely, and start anew because I was shown to me in 2 cor. 5:17 “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is new creation.” There were times when my family shunned me, took away all my money, credit and bank cards and telling family members not to lend money to me cuz they knew what I would do with it. Yet through this I knew that God still Loved me. There was a time I went through rehab for ecstasy, talking to family members, a social worker, strangers and other addicts.. and during this time, God was the only thing that I had. He could have left me, he could have made me suffer for all the things I have against His name… Yet through all my years of sin he still showed me mercy first, and then love second. Every single time I asked. I constantly felt the words of Luke 15:24 “For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”

So… we received a message tonight, passages from the bible and my personal story. What does it mean? It means that I stand before you now, not as someone above you, nor as someone better than you. I do not even stand here as an equal. I stand here because I was once lost in my sin.. lost and very broken. The ONLY reason I stand here today is because I asked God with all my heart to hear me, and to have mercy on someone who could have been so much more if only he had the chance. And through his love, and mercy, and just simply because I asked........

I was healed.

Thank you.